10 Tools for Creating Authentic Weddings (and Relationships!)
It can be hard to know where to start with wedding planning when you haven’t seen anyone do what you think you might want to do! These sources are off the beaten path and will help spark the big questions about who you are and what matters to you—and then how to turn that into a celebration that is as authentic and nontraditional as you!
*book links are affiliate through Bookshop.org
These books were the best thing that happened to me during wedding planning and they are listed together here because I found them both significantly enhanced by the other. Tactical and big picture support to reject wedding industry and get married according to your values.
Articles from the best in the field who don’t actually care if you have a picture perfect day--just one that matters to you.
This beautiful book is all about how we gather in our communities and create spaces that connect us together. Even has a whole section on weddings and the different meta-narratives you might use to guide your process!
Few have devoted as much attention to partnership, love, and romance in the modern era than Alain de Bottan. This book is a keepsake and an incredible guide. The full ceremony is lengthy but profound, elegant reimaginings of traditions such as exchanging photos of yourself as children and the reminder that when you fight, you are speaking to that child who is still inside each of us.
#5
The Marriage Box
Another school of life classic. Questions to get you focused on each other and what it means to build a life together.
This question game by Esther Perel brings up such rich territory on any number of subjects! It really provokes a level of disclosure that even longterm relationships will find challenging and rewarding.
#9
The AntiBride
Just love the title of this Aussie based wedding website. The ideas and articles shared here are so on point. We don’t use “bride” and “groom” language on our website—nothing we create is for the bride alone. But there’s nothing inherently wrong with focusing on one kind of person in the gig.
A self-guided course to create a wedding that tells your true story.
Identify the moments that make you who you are and build a day that feels like YOU, not a performance!
Identify the Core Story that defines your partnership.
Integrate your Core Story into your wedding design.
Gather a team that supports who you are, not what society says you should be.
Create a celebration you won't forget and will want to remember.
These exercises will help you find the big picture to your day. Once you have your story as a couple, you can make choices that will help you create a day that will sing. You’ll know that no matter what happens you said a true thing about your life and declared your love—even if that means you elope with just a photographer and a grocery store cake!